Eckhoff-Nine Coaching

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Raising Cain

I recently read an article published in the Times newspaper that was both startling yet sadly not surprising. The article discussed the dilemma that the UK currently faces in regards to the well-being of its young people being near the bottom of the ‘league table’ in Europe. In fact, it ranked the well-being of children in the UK 29th out of 41 European countries. The article goes on to explore a number of reasons behind this trend, including a careful look at a book called ‘How to Grow a Grown-Up’ by the former GP and author Dr. Dominique Thompson. Dr. Thompson argues in her book that there are multiple factors that have led the UK down this path, which can be broken down into specific categories:

  1. Competition (overly competitive society)

  2. Perfectionism

  3. Fear of Failure

  4. Social Media

By far the strongest argument put forward by Dr. Thompson is the amount of pressure that is felt by our young people in the UK. The argument made is that society has essentially become one giant competition. Whether this is a cooking competition on TV, a ‘falling in love' competition on TV, or the expectation that perfection is the only way to ‘win’ in most areas of society. And, yes, this includes the education system in the UK. As the article states, young people are under constant pressure and scrutiny from a young age to perform well in every area of their lives. If they don’t, they get labelled or pushed aside and forgotten; judged before they are able to meet their true potential. As a classroom teacher for the past 15 years, I have seen this first hand, and it breaks my heart.

In my most recent teaching role, one where I was a Director of Sixth Form, I had the opportunity to create an enrichment programme that sought to celebrate the strengths and talents of students introspectively, with the hope that once they had completed the programme, they would have different priorities of what they thought success looked like as well as a better understanding of themselves from a positive perspective. What I did not anticipate was the monstrous barrier that existed between ;what the programme aimed to do and the cultural barrier that hindered the effectiveness of the programme. The funny thing is, it wasn’t just the students. The barrier existed in the teachers and some of the parents as well. I remember having an argument with a well respected colleague about how much time the programme was requiring. My colleague argued that it as taking up too much of the students’ time and that they should be doing proper learning instead. My obvious rebuttal was that the type of learning that they were doing (once a week for an hour…) was far more important than any academic lesson might teach them as they leave school and move into their adult lives. My colleague’s response was simply ‘the purpose of school is to improve exam results for our students, that’s it’. At this point, I knew I was in a fight not so different to that of David versus Goliath. The only problem was, my version of it was more like David versus 1 million Goliaths. Shortly there after, I attended a talk by Dr. Thompson at a UCAS convention and it all clicked.

What I realised is that the fabric in our current society demands that we put this pressure on our students. Can you imagine if the education sector was unable to perform it’s key objective as outlined by my former colleague? It would be written off as a disgrace by people who actually believe that the purpose of schools is to improve exam results. So, where we are is in a society that generally thinks that improving exam results is the purpose of school and education. Can we, then, be surprised to know that there are other parts of society that mirror this reality? As our children go through this system, they inherently adopt the values that are instilled in them and subsequently go off in their lives to create other similar constructs; such as the obsessively competitive cultures of reality TV, social media platforms where the sole aim is to get as much attention as possible, and not to mention the parental WhatsApp groups that perpetuate competition between parents.

All around our children, we have created a society where being ‘the best’ is valued more than anything else. So, when a child isn’t ‘the best’, it should not be a surprise that they then become anxious. In isolated instances, this will lead to a child becoming more resilient. However, with repeated exposure to ‘failure’ or being undervalued, what once developed into resilience, leads instead to anxiety related mental health issues.

The good news in all of this is that there is a movement in the education system that is seeking to stop this perpetual cycle; both for students and for staff and school leaders. Dr. Thompson’s work is a vital step in us all in the education sector taking necessary steps to combat this overly obsessed competition culture, but her work alone cannot change the fabric of the education system. My business partner, James Pope, has begun a campaign for school leaders called ‘Heads Up’ (link below) which seeks to support school leaders in the push for a system of education that is not dominated by high stakes accountability and testing. The movement is in it’s infancy, so if you are able to get involved, now would be the best time.

Sir Ken Robinson was by far the most vocal person in the education world about these issues. His recent passing leaves a giant void to fill. However, there is a movement starting to grow and gain traction. Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, or a student, pursuing this agenda will be important for everyone…so, get involved some way, some how, some where……now.

In the meantime, Dr. Thompson gives two specific peices of advice to us all in order to combat the competition culture:

  1. Normalise Failure - Share your failures in life with young people. If they fail, make it sound and feel as if it is normal to do so (unsuccessful job app etc…).

  2. When creating an event or an activity for young people, ask yourself the question ‘does this have to be competitive?’. (drawing instead of a drawing competition, just for fun, without the competitive element).

Check out a Ted-X talk by Dr. Thompson here: https://buzzconsulting.co.uk/TEDxTalks

Check out the Heads Up movement by James Pope here: https://www.headsup4hts.co.uk/